I really like jokes. In an effort to spur creativity, I tweeted a joke every day for a few months!

Most of them were not great but there were a few that I’m proud of.

Why is it called a pillow fight and not a throw down?

— Sinistral Sasquatch (@_sinistroll) November 29, 2016

WIFE: He makes everything into a wood pun
ME: This couch has such great lumber support
WIFE: See??
THERAPIST: Try to stop
ME: Oakey dokey

— Sinistral Sasquatch (@_sinistroll) January 3, 2017

They call him Samwise the Brave because the other hobbits were Shire.

— Sinistral Sasquatch (@_sinistroll) November 29, 2016

ME: Guess who was just promoted to be the new CEO!
COWORKER: Amanda.
ME: Why would you assume it's a man?

— Sinistral Sasquatch (@_sinistroll) November 28, 2016

[Taking out the trash for the 3rd time this week]

TRASH: *touches my hand* where is this relationship going?

ME: I'm dumping you

— Sinistral Sasquatch (@_sinistroll) December 11, 2016

Here's how you properly use a colon: ingest, digest, excrete waste.

— Sinistral Sasquatch (@_sinistroll) November 20, 2016

[Pearly Gates]
ST. PETER: Name?
CASTRO: I'm Fidel
ST. PETER: C'mon bud, you know we can't let infidels

— Sinistral Sasquatch (@_sinistroll) December 7, 2016